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You might be interested in some
notes from yesterday and
today?s ?five-clocksie? ? I?ve been doing salvia almost daily at
that time on the sundeck with the sun setting behind
the plum tree, whilst happily ensconced in a hammock
seat.
Hallo, dearest S
Well, the sadhana continues with my ten-minute five o'clocksies.
Yesterday's on one puff brought a very exaggerated tongue-to-chin
in as wide a smile as possible (felt almost like a clown grimace)
and a spontaneous vocalization of
KEEPING A VERY INTENSE SMILE - AS WIDE AS POSSIBLE
INHALE; SNORE "MAHA"
EXHALE: GARGLE "KAHHHH"
EHALE TEETH CLENCH "THAHHH"
and then a repeat in the Jalandhara Bandha
I found more or less the same facial gesture today on the Internet
with a Google on "MAHAKALA" (see attached, and note tongue)
MAHAKALA of course is a wrathful emanation of Avalokitesvara,
which makes sense to me somehow (smile).
I keep having an ever-evolving experience on this one puff
that I have yet to completely assimilate afterwards - despite
holding a pen and pad of paper during the sequence. But it's
as if I am playing in my "normal" reality and then the grown-ups
come along and say, "Okay, Ramon, put away the toys now (toys =
the whole Consensus Reality -- at which point I become the
Avalokitesvara Buddha or the equivalent.
Heavens! Holy Moly!
And from Today:
On 7/18/04 1:09 PM, "S wrote:
> dear ramon-- how do you feel afterwards and how does all the adult-stuff go
> afterwards?
There's a very perceptible afterglow that lasts into the night. Before
retiring,I smoke two puffs of MJ for a truly beneficent indoor / sleeptime
meditation - frequently also way to integrate some of the further-out
material from the afternoon. The 'adults' fade away as I re-enter Consensus
Reality.
>
> are there zero negative "side-effects" to longterm puffing, as
far as you
> can tell?
No. There's no 'burnt-out' feeling like after MDA, or the low-seratonin
dip from LSD. I admit that I do scarf down my supper with enthusiasm, so
perhaps something yet unknown is used up. I sometimes take a 5-HTP in the
evening, although I don't think it's necessary. A little glass of wine
with dinner seems a pleasant after-thought.
> otherwise, your happiness persuades me all is well, along with your
> beautiful spirit --
Quotes from today's notes, with appended comments in square brackets:
I asked a question before I began: 'What is The Place?"
NOTES:
The place is the wonderful place, that wonderful place.
This place is the place of Beauty and Great Blessing.
This is a place of Great Blessing. This is a place of Great Blessing.
[Feels like I am truly dying but I want to leave a note saying,]
"This is a place of Great Blessing!"
[then a few minutes later on a second puff]
It was just being what I thought was folding up on everything.
[I keep experiencing a kind of "Oh no! Not that too!" meaning that
the experience was encompassing wider and wider meaningfulness,
greater and greater chunks of reality as if my experience was not
only impacting my life but also the planet itself and all history
and time on it. I KNOW, TYPICAL ENTHEOGRANDIOSITY!]
Just again folding up on itself, just BEING _THAT_!
SPANISH SANSKRIT
MAMA
MAHA
CASA(CATHA) KALA
[small engine airplane flies over and I start snoring -
My voice wants to get louder but I SHUSH myself to keep
out of the neighbors' awareness]
It's like I hear thousands of voices - it's just going to be
this thing...
